Is having a clean body
Is having a clean and organized environment
Is being anywhere by any specific time if you don’t want to
Is working on What you want with Who you want
Is having a clean body
Is having a clean and organized environment
Is being anywhere by any specific time if you don’t want to
Is working on What you want with Who you want
I cleaned out my filing cabinet last night and found a piece of paper from when I was newly hired at my current job, over a year ago.
Written on the paper was:
First: What is a Pineal Gland? Why does it matter?
I urge you just to try removing some of this list from your life and see what the effects are on your person. That’s it. Just a trial.
Well, he has many sayings. Such as:
“Whether you think you can – or think you can’t – you’re right”
or
“Only boring people get bored.”
and many others that are wise and worth holding.
But there is one that has stuck with me as I’ve grown through adulthood. I come back to it often when I make a poor choice, when something bothers me, when I think:
“This situation/person/thing oughta be different”
Here is the quote:
“A parent’s job is to fuck you up. It’s your job to unfuck yourself.” – My Father, the original dude
The quote rings true when I think back to Stoicism. When I think back to the childhood trauma I endured and have worked to heal my person from, when I’m regulating emotions in a moment.
When I think back to the unique childhood trauma both my mother and father endured, and they had no idea how to cope with it except egoically.
Through judging others cause they had never looked inside.
Through identifying with fear, because they didn’t know there was another option.
Through whatever faults they bring to the world. I bring faults, and so does every human walking Earth. Nobody’s perfect.
It makes me think about this notion:
If you know there’s a better way: to live, to love, to enjoy this one experience we get, then it becomes your responsibility to live that better way out. No matter what any other person says, does, feels or thinks about you. It’s between you and God.
Knowledge is power, but it also creates obligation.
My point is: When my dad says a parent’s job is to fuck you up, what he’s saying if I translate it is —
“Life is metal. We gave you life. This shit is imperfect. Make it what you want it to be or what you see it as. No one can stop you.”
So I could’ve spent more time being angry that my dad can be a nasty critic. Or that my mom couldn’t keep a clean home.
OR
I can realize they’re just humans, with flaws, surviving and even thriving at times, doing their best. Anger or resentment about this is only a discredit to myself and my future.
This quote is so powerful because it resonates with all relationships in life.
You don’t like what someone said? How someone behaves? Honestly, that’s your problem. Those are your feelings.
That other person is not responsible for the feelings happening inside of YOU! You are responsible for your own feelings, response, and emotional regulation.
I call back what Marcus Aurelius says (paraphrasing):
“Each day, you will encounter the cruel, the wicked, the vile. Just know, they have nothing to do with you. Do what is Right, as your life is not between you and the vile, wicked or cruel. Your life is between you and your creator. Nobody else. Do what you see fit.
and later in my journey, I realized, Jesus said it too, while he was being crucified:
“Forgive them Father, they know not what they do.”
and that my friends, is a deep truth.
I challenge you, when you’re in the wild and become bothered, when a family member behaves unruly, when your girl cheats on you or when you feel injustice. I challenge you to ask yourself “What is the Right way to handle this?” Then do what you see as Right, regardless of the consequence.
This is where you will witness magic unfold. Cheers.
-alfredthedude
p.s. If someone can ruin your time, make you feel some type of way, then that person has power over you. They control you.
Why would you want to be controlled like that?
Asking for a friend.
Here are isms that I’ve seen hold constant
to add to that notion…